The Most Important Character Trait For AEC Professionals
Anytime a new client comes to me for help in my coaching business, I make sure I give them the benefit of the doubt. I begin by assuming they’re mature, responsible, and serious about seeing a meaningful improvement.
You would think this would be a safe assumption considering they’re the ones coming to me for help, however, in my 30 years of coaching, a number of clients have proven my initial assumptions wrong.
While the overwhelming majority were willing to step-up, learn, grow, and develop themselves, others simply were not. These difficult few resisted the advice that would have propelled them forward in their careers – and their progress suffered greatly as a result.
In fact, as a result of the vast difference in outcomes, I’ve concluded that the most important character trait an AEC professional can possess is genuine coachability. Those who have this strength are able to learn from others who have gone ahead of them and from those who have helped others in similar situations accomplish the results they’re trying to achieve.
To help you assess your own coachability, I’ve compiled a list of some difficult truths about what makes someone resistant to coaching. They may help enlighten you if you are trying to coach an employee or if you are considering getting a coach for yourself.
Coaching will not help someone if..
1. They believe everyone else has a problem except for them.
People who think the world would be a better place if everyone were exactly like them are not only mistaken, but are creating a major blind spot for themselves by eliminating their ability to learn from others.
In reality, diversity and alternative perspectives are incredibly valuable. You don’t have to agree with opposing views but you should always be willing to consider others’ opinions and expand your own horizons.
2. They have no interest in changing.
Think of a time you or someone you know tried to bring about change in someone who had no interest in moving from their current position or attitude.
How did that go? It likely resulted in frustration for both parties, and possibly even anger. If things went really bad, the process may have even caused long-term damage to the relationship.
It’s the same story in the case of coaching. Those who don’t want to change can’t be coerced, and attempting to do so can only cause both parties to suffer. The desire to change has to come from within.
3. They don’t want to do the work.
In other cases, someone may accept that they have a problem, and be interested in changing, but not open to doing the work. Anytime someone isn’t willing to do the work required to actually achieve their desired results, they won’t achieve them.
There’s no point going to a coach to draft up an action plan that won’t be used. In this case, a client should save their time and money until their desire for the results eventually overcomes their lack of motivation.
It’s important to note that this is not the same as a lack of direction. You don’t have to see the whole picture to get started, you just have to be willing to put one foot in front of the other.
When Someone Proves Uncoachable
Without sounding insensitive, I’ve come to realize that some people simply won’t change or accept help to develop themselves and it’s best to not work with them. I’ve decided that rather than trying to change a person, I will simply continue to work with those that are open and willing to grow.
“No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.” – Conrado I. Generoso